From my experience, there is a greater amount of stress and financial difficulties in a single parent family than there is in a two-parent family. For some, a lack of a strong support system is a factor as well. Before you become frustrated and angry with your child, minimize these risk factors. You may want to try one of these methods to calm down:
1. Go for a walk.
Take a quick walk with your child. Sometimes a change of scenery, and fresh air can help to clear your mind, thus you can have a fresh perspective of the situation at hand.
2. Take a deep breath.
As a vocalist, I know that deep breathing exercises cleanses and relaxes the mind and body. Breathe in as deeply as you can and, very slowly, exhale. Do these exercises as many times as you think is necessary to calm down.
3. Leave the room.
Even if your child is an infant, place him or her in the crib and walk away. Even if your child cries, don’t worry. Her safety from your moments of frustration is much more important.
4. Pray/Meditate.
A belief system can give you hope and faith. Visit your nearest place of worship. Read a Bible to fin solutions. The Books of Psalms and Proverbs are chock full of instructions for life, as well as God’s promises to his children.
5. Talk to a friend.
You may feel ashamed or embarrassed, but when you have someone to lean on and share your problems with, you feel better.
6. Call a hotline or search the web.
There are many hotline numbers to call and websites to visit for help. Try 800-422-4453 (Child Help USA) or www.crosswalk.com/parenting.
7. Find a project.
Get involved in something that makes you happy. Find a way to nurture the gift or talent that God has given you. Join a free writing group or a free acting workshop.
8. Think about your actions.
A lot of times, we become frustrated because of what our child does not do. Think of changes that you can make to improve this.
9. Create a plan.
Write out the rules of the home. Create a list of chores, and hang them on the wall. Be specific about when and how they should be done.
10. Taking time out.
Just as you need time away from your child, your child needs some time away from you. Allow your child to play on her own without distractions from you. Besides, this gives you time to do you.
______________________________ Apologizing to Your Kids
As parents, we all do things we regret, but as in life, we must learn from our mistakes. Growing in and improving upon our lives is so important. After all, don’t we want our kids to recognize us as their positive role models, rather than the rapper with his pants on the ground?
I think everyone has had at least one regrettable moment in their lives, and when we first recognize that we’ve said or done something we regret, the best way to correct it is to apologize. By taking responsibility and apologizing to our kids, along with expressing our emotions to them, they then learn how to express their emotions and to take responsibility for their wrong-doings.
Taking the time to sincerely apologize to our kids and communicate with them (instead of always telling them what to do) is a welcome change for everyone involved.
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